Band Camp- I: Overall

New people, classy people, talented people, lovely people, mean people, flirty people, touchy people, sweaty people. Sassy hands, silly taunts, hard comforters, stale potatoes, bland tofu, unintentional mishaps, theatre ghosts, exercise and practice pods, etudes and history.

Begin!

Meagan, Emily, Lissette. Cheery days and shades of grey accompany a tiny, attitudinal dog. Playgrounds, chained walls and silly children. Officially documenting the passing of the first week of summer. Band camp begins later today, and I'm off! Hopefully I'll get in the top 5 chairs. That's my goal. 2nd would be my dream, and 2nd to last is my reality. Probably. I need to relax, and let every muscle through me pulsate nothing but rhythm and eighth-notes. Packing is a rat, and practicing sucks. No buses either, but it is for a full 6 days! Excitedexcitedexcited.

I.D

Shifting

Everything is ending, and eyes are at an all-time high.
Camps, sweat and instruments are dancing with books, sketching and late-night movies. I'm ready.

Graduation

Sitting in 50-foot bleachers, parallel to a stage of wise, high-school sages, the thought that you are next cannot be escaped. I mustn't make a fussy over something that is less than two years away, but I can rapidly wish my dear seniors a happy and successful future. Thanks for sticking with us.

Rory.

Summer is a mere 9 days away, and my plans consist of the following-

• FOVS for algebra II and chemistry
• New York for my birthday!!
• Band camp at UT for a week
• Major practicing sessions of flute, piccolo, guitar and piano...I've been neglecting my babies.
• Chill days and all-night movie marathons

As fantastic as last summer was, this seems to hold little promises of what it used to. I'm hoping the feelings and acutely-shaped breezes will return and tickle my childlike whimsy. I want to return to scratchy blankets and Calvin and Hobbes.

-Notice-

Blog will be under construction once again, so please forgive the temporary ugliness it may have.

Thank you!

Culkin.

I’m at another altar. I’ve found something that relates. I’ve found more that don’t, leaving me further in a ditch of incapability and loneliness. I can say, quite honestly, that I’ve rarely been one for complaining about being alone, or feeling alone. But that carries back to even still being completely void of all and any emotions. I’m just a hollow, ugly egg. I have to be done. I’m right there. You need to stop now.

Banquet.

This was the gag-award won by me and my friend, Lissette at our end of the year band banquet. Obviously. It was fun, and it made me genuinely happy that I was noticed. Not many win senior awards, and I'm being cheeky by taking it oh-so-seriously, but I do like knowing that in my first year I won a joke award and was recognized. Repetitive. There's nothing to back this up, I just really like it. Yep.

Gangrene

That strange and foreign feeling when you know the end is close, but you suddenly don't want it any longer. The lust for demolition of events, projects and yourself becomes dull and reluctant when you're actually put up to face it. A face of sick green tinge, a most terrible unibrow and fuzzy lip. Not by any means a thing you'd like to come in contact with. It seems more appealing to remain on one side, father away from it, than to walk by it, at one point stopping right in front of it. But once it's past, you need never look back and see it again. It won't bother you unless you allow it. Ready or not you're prepared and fully aware of consequences and strifes that will appear later on, they must be realized. I don't know if I understand, or even need to, to be able to go through with any of this. I have a personal reputation to uphold, and while social ones shan't be affected, I know I would absolutely kill myself. If this doesn't go 100% perfectly, and I don't manage it effortlessly, I may not come back.
I have time. For once, it is all I have.

Crystal

AP exams are over with, and I can barely feel summer's breeze. My auditions are Monday, giving me ample time to spit out crescendos, slurs and scales. I've started driving now, and I'm not too bad! Only hit the curb twice, and went over speed limit once. Only trouble is reversing, parallel parking and knowing when to accelerate and brake during a turn. I fear that my pasty genetics are causing me to age quickly, or end-of-the-year stress is getting to me, because the mirror does not show smooth under eyes. My problems are silly, and my posts remain mundane. Eep.

Drive

You can take me for a spin. Beep beep, yeah. To where there's gin. Yes, I'm going to be a star. Keep beating your drum as you slide another down the bar.

Third

It's strange to consider that we're always moving. Our planet is rotating within a ring, spiraling around a giant star, within a moving solar system, within a spinning galaxy, within an eternally expanding universe. We never really stop. This doesn't only apply to physics, it does the same for panging emotions and raging lies+. It's a rarity when free time is had to stop. In honesty, you never have time, I never have time. Getting into even attempting to fathom any aspect of time is too lengthy, and would sound idiotic at best coming from my mouth, but I've come to gather that time does in fact stop. At certain intervals, when the world has come to some stage of peace, or some extreme stage of terror and horror, time pauses. Everything remains at a stand still. The eroding blankets of ash and snow, the trembling waves of shattered wind, the broken speeches of lovers in demand and children crying in loneliness. It's universally felt, and typically thrown over the shoulder. It exists, as quite possibly none of us do. Perhaps if Hume is correct, none of us are real anyway, and life is but a figment. No reasons to frown or keep idle remain.

Inspiration

Spent this day being a wannabe replicate of Twiggy. An idol to me, the 60's, and portrait photography. As I laze around waiting for something eventful to happen once auditions and AP testing is over with, I think about too little to even be considered a naive teenager. I'm allowing my mind to turn to mush; I need more stimulation to survive.

One more month. I can do it.

Hiatus

I'm not going to leave with an explanation, and return with an excuse.

Isthmus

All I Want - A Day to Remember

When a song describes every emotion you're running through at the moment. When the silhouette of your feelings no longer needs to be within just an outline, thirsty for words that can really broadcast what it needs to say. You already have it. Color can now flood in and stain through the solitude and silence. All is more peaceful between the headphones.

Keep your hopes up high and your head down low!

Jellybeans and troubled teens

Hello! Yes, I have taken an uncalled-for hiatus. Forgive me, it's spring break and doing absolutely nothing is key. While I'm not religious, I still think celebrating and observing today is dandy. Here are some pictures from the small festivities:

BORING BLOG OVER. APOLOGIES.

Academics

The pungent feeling you get when you have been wronged, and feel as though the upper hand is over you. When the world speeds by while you're at a stand-still. Everybody else seems happy and ignorant, but somehow managing to move forward, and the only distance you've reached is mediocrity. It's all in perspective, and all in attitude.

While one could sit at home, delve into their emotions on the internet and duke it out with an invisible man, one could just as easily pick up a pencil and fight to get ahead. That's what late August to early June are all about- getting a lead. I'm not at rock-bottom, but I'm already giving up. I cannot do this unless I wish to plummet in the future. I think why I'm dedicating an entire post to this is because I'm finally feeling at this point that it really is becoming crucial.

Marine

I went to Channelside one Sunday ago, and am just now deciding to post some pictures. With final exams in a little under two months, 3 projects to complete, and FCAT's in one day, there's no need to stress how much I'm balancing at the moment. But as for last Sunday, I went to the aquarium and strolled around the shops. No big story, but a few colorful, mediocre documents.

And of course, I even got a picture with a celebrity.

Motion

I know I'm young, and I'm not very reckless, but time is still of the essence. And I wonder why I worry about it so much. My grasp of time has always been skewed in a pretty severe manner. I cannot tell the difference between an hour or a minute passing. If I have no clock for an entire day, I will be completely unable to tell what hour it is, or what of it has gone. This has been the case for as long as I can remember. But as the Mad Hatter said, "[Time] He won't stand beating. Now, if you only keep on good terms with him, he'd do almost anything you liked with the clock. For instance, suppose it were nine o'clock in the morning, just time to begin lessons: you'd only have to whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the clock in a twinkling! Half-past one, time for dinner!" Being nice and asking favors of time could be a simple remedy, I suppose. I have figured how it turns enough to only be a bit over slightly misguided, and not completely dumb-founded. However, it may be in my best interest to quit standing over how time runs, and instead of how I am spending it.

Metal

Yesterday- Paul McCartney (The Beatles)

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away.

Now it looks as though they're here to stay.

Oh, I believe in yesterday.

Suddenly, I'm half the [girl] I used to be,

There's a shadow hanging over me

Oh yesterday, came suddenly.

Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play.

Now I need a place to hide away,

Oh, I believe in yesterday.

Parkhoppah!

This weekend I went to the one land that makes me feel at a pure contentment and peace-- Disney World. I love everything about it. I took an embarrassing amount of pictures, but without over-loading one post, here are what I consider to be either 'the best' or just my favorite eight.

(Here's my flickr, where I will be uploading all of them, if you'd like to see: flickr.com/photos/suburbanpoppy)

Day 1:

Day 2:

The one thing that does make me sad about Disney, is that because I am so unendingly happy there, when I return to a place that has never successfully held the title of 'home' inside me, saying it's disappointing is placing it mildly. Just knowing those bubbly feelings and having strangers always smiling at you is a one-place deal, you wonder, I suppose. I don't feel as though I deserve to feel down when I am fortunate enough to be able to even go on vacations such as these, but it does make me wish every place could be as happy and lovely as Disney. I need not mope, though, when it's all a matter of perspective any way.

Victor and Victoria

Our school's GSA (Gay-Straight Alliance) threw a Victor/Victoria party. This entails girls dressing as boys, and boys dressing as girls. It was a very calm party, where we all played Apples to Apples, ate snacks, watched Rocky Horror and even danced a bit. The homemade cookie cakes were great, the company even better. It allowed me to see that there are parties that kids can have with out becoming completely wasted and shit-faced, and still have a wonderful time. I really enjoy my nights like these.

Official Bro-name: Emilio

I'm so lucky-lucky

I'm challenging myself. It's what I need. When all I see and feel is your vibe intermingling with my own, how can I remain so lackadaisical? It'd be an insult.
While my apple repeals a chemical imbalance, the vanity being blanketed in soot and grey, wafty rabbits remains in a lonesome storage shed in an urban land. My back must stiffen and my eyes need to wake up. As do my fingers, tongue, lips and lungs. Instruments cannot play with no attached talent, you know.

Imperialism

of Montreal - Wraith Pinned to the Mist

Let's have bizarre celebrations
Let's forget who forget what forget where
We'll have bizarre celebrations
I'll play the satyr in Cyprus
You the bride being stripped bare

Maybe I'll never die
I'll just keep growing younger with you
And you'll grow younger too
Now it seems too lovely to be true
But I know the best things always do

Let's pretend we don't exist
Let's pretend we're in Antarctica

TeBella

Seeing that I have my first copy rough draft deadline tomorrow, three make-up tests, and a DBQ to complete, it was nice to walk around a bit more of a foreign neighborhood today. One of my dearest friends and I went to a tea and curio shop in Davis Islands. Everything there is so quaint and sweet, it helped relaxed my nerves. School is supposed to be winding down this time of year, not escalating and burying me in mundane assignments that will never benefit me in the future. Alas, I sit here and spend my time on the computer rather than completing my assignments. Ta-ta.

Madam

Oh Mondays. I don't think there's anything wrong with them in particular, but I do believe that people's general mind set towards them affects it more than it really ought. Currently, I'm up to my jugular in homework. Not to mention that I have to rehearse my music for MPA's on Saturday, complete a copy for the Baccalaureate page, and study up on how to correctly write a DBQ. With my flute being temperamental, my lips dry, my palms clammy and my heart on the edge, all I want is tea and a good Natalie Portman film. I have to be a big girl now, and do what I need to do. While some lie in hospital beds, and others get involved in petty online arguments, I sit here and fantasize over macaroons and Nintendo DS's. Get going.

La La (means I love you)

When I am by myself, I read so much in books, listen to and watch so much on the internet or television, and think about everything in great dexterity, that I forget how no sounds have been made. None have for the entirety of my solitude. I am alone, and I am silent.

Perception plays a large part in this, as well. Perhaps I'm too preoccupied with far more important happenings than to be bothered by company or noise. Scattered.

This weekend I did indulge myself on watching the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

I can't lie and say that I'm not completely in love. I've watched 'Sweet Transvestite' at least 20 times over since Friday night. I can't get enough of Frank 'N Furter.

While everything seems so vacant and abysmal, I must remember that as I sit here eating my cheap oriental dish, reminiscing about the doctor's lovely face, and thinking about Michael Jackson's old rendition of the Beatle's 'Come Together', I realise that it's okay. That I just need to relax, get done what needs to get done, and be content.

Rosin

My first symphonic performance is tomorrow night. It goes with out saying that I'm completely nervous. There are even going to be official judges, a professional college band, and crap loads of parentals. I wont venture to say that it's going to be a busy night, only because this is my first. Regardless, to me it will be big. My dress arrived on Monday, was tailored yesterday, and is just long enough to allow me to wear black Toms and slip them off during the performance.
I'm alright.

Stand

In all of this confusion, I'm afraid there's no longer any safety net to bounce off of. Nothing is as it should be. Or perhaps it is, but I'm not focusing hard enough. I'm not understanding fully what needs to be done and just how quickly everybody else is moving on. Most people understand how to deal with this, because they have something to hold onto. Something that allows them to 'get a grip'. I don't have anything but myself. I'm always up for challenges.