Rory.

Summer is a mere 9 days away, and my plans consist of the following-

• FOVS for algebra II and chemistry
• New York for my birthday!!
• Band camp at UT for a week
• Major practicing sessions of flute, piccolo, guitar and piano...I've been neglecting my babies.
• Chill days and all-night movie marathons

As fantastic as last summer was, this seems to hold little promises of what it used to. I'm hoping the feelings and acutely-shaped breezes will return and tickle my childlike whimsy. I want to return to scratchy blankets and Calvin and Hobbes.

-Notice-

Blog will be under construction once again, so please forgive the temporary ugliness it may have.

Thank you!

Culkin.

I’m at another altar. I’ve found something that relates. I’ve found more that don’t, leaving me further in a ditch of incapability and loneliness. I can say, quite honestly, that I’ve rarely been one for complaining about being alone, or feeling alone. But that carries back to even still being completely void of all and any emotions. I’m just a hollow, ugly egg. I have to be done. I’m right there. You need to stop now.

Banquet.

This was the gag-award won by me and my friend, Lissette at our end of the year band banquet. Obviously. It was fun, and it made me genuinely happy that I was noticed. Not many win senior awards, and I'm being cheeky by taking it oh-so-seriously, but I do like knowing that in my first year I won a joke award and was recognized. Repetitive. There's nothing to back this up, I just really like it. Yep.

Gangrene

That strange and foreign feeling when you know the end is close, but you suddenly don't want it any longer. The lust for demolition of events, projects and yourself becomes dull and reluctant when you're actually put up to face it. A face of sick green tinge, a most terrible unibrow and fuzzy lip. Not by any means a thing you'd like to come in contact with. It seems more appealing to remain on one side, father away from it, than to walk by it, at one point stopping right in front of it. But once it's past, you need never look back and see it again. It won't bother you unless you allow it. Ready or not you're prepared and fully aware of consequences and strifes that will appear later on, they must be realized. I don't know if I understand, or even need to, to be able to go through with any of this. I have a personal reputation to uphold, and while social ones shan't be affected, I know I would absolutely kill myself. If this doesn't go 100% perfectly, and I don't manage it effortlessly, I may not come back.
I have time. For once, it is all I have.

Crystal

AP exams are over with, and I can barely feel summer's breeze. My auditions are Monday, giving me ample time to spit out crescendos, slurs and scales. I've started driving now, and I'm not too bad! Only hit the curb twice, and went over speed limit once. Only trouble is reversing, parallel parking and knowing when to accelerate and brake during a turn. I fear that my pasty genetics are causing me to age quickly, or end-of-the-year stress is getting to me, because the mirror does not show smooth under eyes. My problems are silly, and my posts remain mundane. Eep.

Drive

You can take me for a spin. Beep beep, yeah. To where there's gin. Yes, I'm going to be a star. Keep beating your drum as you slide another down the bar.

Third

It's strange to consider that we're always moving. Our planet is rotating within a ring, spiraling around a giant star, within a moving solar system, within a spinning galaxy, within an eternally expanding universe. We never really stop. This doesn't only apply to physics, it does the same for panging emotions and raging lies+. It's a rarity when free time is had to stop. In honesty, you never have time, I never have time. Getting into even attempting to fathom any aspect of time is too lengthy, and would sound idiotic at best coming from my mouth, but I've come to gather that time does in fact stop. At certain intervals, when the world has come to some stage of peace, or some extreme stage of terror and horror, time pauses. Everything remains at a stand still. The eroding blankets of ash and snow, the trembling waves of shattered wind, the broken speeches of lovers in demand and children crying in loneliness. It's universally felt, and typically thrown over the shoulder. It exists, as quite possibly none of us do. Perhaps if Hume is correct, none of us are real anyway, and life is but a figment. No reasons to frown or keep idle remain.

Inspiration

Spent this day being a wannabe replicate of Twiggy. An idol to me, the 60's, and portrait photography. As I laze around waiting for something eventful to happen once auditions and AP testing is over with, I think about too little to even be considered a naive teenager. I'm allowing my mind to turn to mush; I need more stimulation to survive.

One more month. I can do it.

Hiatus

I'm not going to leave with an explanation, and return with an excuse.